Saturday, December 18, 2010

Super Saturday!

Its an early Saturday morning for me and the girls.  I may or may not have posted this already, but I have let Brooke know that I will wake up with the girls and take care of them when they get up early in the morning.  I think I said this a little bit too soon since the girls get up even earlier than they usually do on  weekends!  Taking care of them is a labor, but it is a labor of love.  We got up this morning and put on the mickey mouse cartoons, that were the only good thing on.  I was very close to putting on one of the thousands of infomercials on that are always on in the morning, thinking that this would easily put them to sleep.  But, they started to get boring even to me. 

So we put on mickey and the girls were entertained by the mouse and the lights of or small christmas tree, as daddy tried to quick make bottles in the morning without hurting himself.  I survivie, this time with only a stubbed toe on the cabnets in the dark. I now have them both asleep on me ,  which is one of the best things in the world.  However this will not last long.

I like to volunteer and help out with things, especially at church, but I have a horrible memory about when and where.  I apparently offered to help clean the church  two weeks ago when I was teaching the lesson for Elder's Quorm.  I was rememided about this impulsive service act last night when my wife was beating me at Jeopardy.  Our Elder's Quorm president called me to remind me about this, probably knowing that I would not have remembered just by myself.  This resulted in a big suprise with the wife, as I will also be at the church for my cub scout meeting this morning.

Since I will be gone already for that, I will probably be sent off to run other errands, to get the last moment things for our christmas with our Uncle Harold.  Uncle Harold will be comming out from Washington DC , and will be out here to celebrat the babies first christmas.  Sadly, he has come down with a bad cough and bhroncidious (spelling?) and is really not doing too well.  We are hoping and praying for his quick recovery so that he will be able to enjoy this wonderful holiday with us.

 Just a few last minuite stocking stuffers and then hurry home to play with the babies, clean the house, and eat christmas cookies.   One of us will probably be taking the girls out for a walk, since they are extremly terrified of the purple vacume monster!  We found an amazing deal on this vacume online a few months ago.  We got it at a great price, the thing will never loose suction, but the kids are scared to death of it!

Well, off to put on my cape to try to get everything taken care of as this Super Saturday takes off.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Party at the Hanger (thankfully no hangover!)

Today was the MALS 11 (Marine Aviation Logistics Squadron) Christmas party!  We combined ourselves with the fighter FMFA213 squadron to have a bigger crowd, more fun, and a great place to hold it!  They were pretty cool, and they also don't order too many parts during my shift. 

As we were getting ready to go, Brooke was upstairs doing whatever it is girls do to get ready (I'm sure I will find this out sometime sooner or later , probably once there babies become teenagers) .  My job, was to get the babies ready, which I had been working on for a few days now.  I played it smart and prepacked the diaper bag the night before, have clothes all ready, and even fed them before I changed them into their party clothes.  However, I did catch one little snag when I put on their cute little pink santa hats on them.  THEY HATED THEM!  When I first got the hats for them, they loved them and kept them on for hours.  Now, they wanted to shread them apart just like the sunday paper.  (I am now also planning on hiring them out to a couple of businesses here in San Diego for cheap document disposal and shredding.  They are cheaper to hire, and have so much more fun ripping things up!) 

The hats went in the diaper bag anyway, in hopes that they would change their minds by the time we got to see santa, and we were packed in the car and on our way.  We got there about 15 minuites or so after the posted start time on the fliers, and when we got in the hanger, they were still in the big process of setting things up.  It ment that my stomach would have to wait to get 3 plates of pancakes, sausage, and eggs, but the Characature artists were already there and set up, and we only had a short wait to get our picture done.  I will try to see about scanning it in sometime and posting it up, but it will have to wait for the moment as our printer is being about as dumb as Hollywood making a sequel to Titaic. 

Once the party was compleate and all set up, there was fun galore for all ages.  The "Man Cave" consisted of a camping trailer filled with chairs and video games lining the inside.  Kids had tons of inflatable bounce houses, a petting zoo, facepainting, and crafts to keep them occupied, while mommies had a coffee and coco bar, massages, and chit-chat areas.  I frequented by the poker tables and played 3 seperate games of Texas Hold'Em.  My luck was not what it usually was when I would play back in Utah.  I had the babies there with me as i shooed away Brooke to go and get herself a much needed massage, and told everyone at the table that they were my two good luck charms.  I guess there is such thing as too much good luck as every time I got a really good hand, another person got a good hand just barely better than mine. 

Anna and Abby had their first taste of pancakes there at the party, although they were plain and had no toppings.  I'm not even sure they got any in their tummy, as when I finished and went to get them in line for Sanat, there was no pancake left whole and it was shredded all over on their lap.  (Again, thus describing how wonderful these girls are at making something so shredded up, that it cannot in any way be put back togather at all.)

Santa arrived in a fighter jet and had lots of toys to give to all of the children there.  For those who had children under a year like us, they had given us gift cards to Walmart, which will probably get spent on clothes for the girls, as they are growing at the same rate as our national debt.  After what seemed like an hour in line, we finally made it to santa, and a maricle occured, THEY PUT ON THEIR HATS AND KEPT THEM ON!  This was awsome to see, and was only made more wonderful when we set them on Santa's lap, and Anna started to fuss and cry!  It was sooo cute!!!!!!!!  I cannot wait to see the picture of them. 

We stayed all through the party and I stayed after a while to help take down chairs and tables and things, much to the suprise of everyone in the working party, who were all "Voluntold" to take down everything, and could not leave untill they finished the cleanup.  Brooke did not mind this time of me helping our, as the lady with the petting zoo was giving the girls a fun experience seeing a little monkey.  I hope it didn't teach them any more crazy tricks to play on me, their mother teaches them plenty enough. 

The remainder of the day was spent relaxing and resting at home.  Nothing else exciting to report on, except for more planning on our Christmas Vacation that we will be spending with my Uncle Harold.  Harold is my long, lost Uncle from my mission in Washington, DC.  He and i have been through Hell and back and now have a wonderful relationship that cannot even be bent by the Caped Wonder himself.  I am so greatful to have him in my life, as well as in the life of my wife and children.  He truly blesses them in many different ways.  Harold put so much faith and trust in me, he gave me his grandmother's diamond ring to give to ther person that I chose to spend forever with.  After meeting Brooke, he gave his approval and knew it had a good home.  Harold, like Brooke, suffers from Depression, and many times they have been able to help each other out in their lows and helped me to understand these times as well.  Harold has been there through every big thing with my little family, from our engagement, to our wedding, to the Baby blessing when I returned home from Boot Camp, to now their first christmas.  Harold is a wonderful, careing and loving man and a wonderful part of our family. 

Tonight for dinner, I enjoyed some leftover Chicken Alfredo, and tried to now feed the girls some baby food for dinner.  Lately they have just been having it for breakfast and lunch, and having bottles for the other meals.  I grabbed a random bottle from the cubbard and discovered it was baby food Mac and Cheese.  I nearly jumped out of my socks when I found out that they didn't like it!  The icky faces were flashing at me, and there was orange mush being spat all over the place.  Of course, i don't blame them.  I perfer nice and home made Mac and Cheese, with extra cheese.  Too much is never enough. 

Well I probably ought to close this now.  The girls will be waking up here in just a few hours and i should get some sleep so I don't feel too groggy when I get up with them when they dicide to wake up at .  Goodnight Blog fans and True believers, and watch our for this Santa stalker!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Back to the Presents!

I'm back, blog readers and true believers!!!!   After taking a short break, the dealings of Shakey and the twins will now continue every week if not more!  I plan on putting up more posts this weekend (hopefully) to be able to cover what I missed during the absence such as The Marine Corps Birthday ball, Thanksgiving, etc. 

Well now on to more fun!  Speaking of fun, I have now found two more video games to be looking forward to.  I have just recently seen the trailer for the Michael Jackson video game and I am very well impressed!  It looks like  mix between DDR dance, and singing games with a Michael Jackson spin to it.  I always figured the man to be really creepy personally, but yet I love his music and his dancing.  This puts the best of him all togather where he can play with little boys again beyond the grave.  LOL!  I fully support the theory that the tv show Robot Chicken portrayed of what happned to Michael Jackson.  I HIGHLY reccomend watching it.
http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf
The second one that looks great is a blast from the past with BACK TO THE FUTURE!  It looks like a new story from the trilogy and features Christopher Lloyd back as Dr.Brown's voice and a guy who sounds extremly like Michael J. Fox.  The game sadly is not coming to the Wii, but will be released on the PC so I cannot wait to play that!

However, the big thing that keeps me from this is that I like to finish what I get and I still have to beat Zelda:Twilight Princess for my Wii before I can even get to my christmas present of Goldeneye for the Wii, and I have yet to even buy StarCraft 2, despite my incredibly long wait for it.  So this may have to wait untill my birthday in July or my Anniversary with my wife in Augest. 

As everyone is probably wondering about, the babies are doing fantastic.  Both girls have their two bottom teeth, and now just recently Anna has been getting 3 teeth on top starting to come in and Abby is getting two on top starting to peek out.  Their hair is getting longer and its looking very, very cute.  Abby is growing more hair on top, and more towards the middle and its looking kinda like mohawlk!  Anna's on the other hand is growing longer and curlierin the back, and looks just like a mullett!  I think its very cute, but Brooke is in big denial.  Pictures to come soon

Tonight for dinner, I am finally trying out my Dr.Pepper marinade!  I got a nice pork roast to try this out with so it should be pretty good.  Its been in the oven for about an hour now and smells just fantastic!  I will make sure to post an update on this experiment.

 Later on i shall post more about the babies first Christmas.  We are looking forward to it very much, especially since my Uncle Harold is planning on coming out from Washington, DC to spend the holidays us!  This will truely be a Christmas to remember. 

Well, its Friday night, and that means that Smallville will be on tonight.  I shall post more with how that is, this last season has been very good!  We also are having my Unit's Christmas party tomorrow, where they will be having tons of food, fun and animals for the babies to see, massages for the wife, and a mysterious MAN CAVE! 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

College Crazyness

My Father and StepMother are both Attorneys.  Growing up with them, I was immersed in Legal jargin, Courtroom procedures, politics, and all the red tape that comes with it.  Naturally, I begin to be intrested in the Legal system and wanting to be a Lawyer myself.  As a young boy, I had even made business cards with my Dad's name crossed out and mine written in with a crayon.  When our teacher gave us an assignment to write a paper about our one of our favorite places, I did not write a paper on the beach, or the park like others did.  I wrote a paper titled,  The Courtroom in St. George (Utah). 

My fate seemed to fall in to place as I grew older.  In 8th grade, my class was learning about the legal system, freedom of speach and the bill of rights and we were doing a mock trial to illistrate the points.  The case was about a person who was burning the flag and I was assigned to be the defense attorney.  My teacher was very impressed with my presentation, and the kid who was assigned to be the judge even ruled in my favor.  High School confirmed it even more.  I was involved in Speach and Debate clubs all 4 years of High School and loved it.  My last two years of High School, I was in the Mock Trial club and won Best Attorney both years. 

I was called to serve in the Washington, DC Mission.  What can I say more about that?  I also had 2 mission presidents during my two years as one had ended his mission in my last year of my mission.  Both of them, had encouraged me to go into law and become a lawyer. 

Since I returned home in September of 2007, all my plans have gone haywire.  I had been planning on attending the University of Utah, the same place that my father had attended Law School at.  I immeadieatly got myself a job at Wal*Mart, thinking I could transfer to a location close by the U as soon as my best friend Ian (who was already attending the U) and i could board togather in a dorm.  I planned on attending after the holiday season rush was done and beginning the Spring semester.  I was then offered a job at Qwest phone company, who offered 100% tuition payment for all undergrad programs.  I jumped at the chance to work there!  While working there I felt confident enought with that job that I then proposed to my wife, and we planned on getting married in August.  However, in May I was let go from there because even though I had excellent customer service, I was not very talented in selling , unlike my grandmother who was the best Avon Saleswoman in Idaho.   In June, I started working at a industrial grade electrical supply warehouse as a temp job to go full time.  I left at 6 from home to get there by 8 and did not get home untill 7 or 8 so I had no time for College and most of the money was going straight to paying for the wedding.  We got married, but then sadly in the end of September I was laid off from that job, along with hundreds of others all around the US with that company.  Finally, in the begenning of November, I started working for the Megaplex theatres with my wife. 
After a while, I figured that we were starting to get on top of things enough and I enrolled in Salt Lake Community College, so that I could save on getting my General Ed's done.  All that worked in my secdual with my job was one English class.  It was was at 8am and some days, I drove to class and my wife would sleep in the car since she needed to be to work at 11 immeadieatly afterwards.  Even with this secedual though, I had missed out on half the classes. 

Halfway through the course, I got the suprise of my life.  It was right on Father's day when I was working at the theatre that I got a text from my wife telling me Happy Father's Day.  I thanked her and told her im not a father.  She sent me a picture of the positive pregnancy test and two words, "Hi Daddy".  I knew that I needed to step it up since things we were just barely getting by as is and had to take care of other things as well.  I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and entered boot camp on December 7th, 2009, Pearl Harbor Day. 

Now, the latest update in October of 2010.......I am working the Mignight to 8 shift at the supply wharehouse and help my wife with our adorable twin baby girls, Abby and Anna.  They take up so much time and energy, I barely have time to go to the gym and PT and work on required training courses and my callings at church as a Cub scout bear leader and a hometeacher.  Today, the old familare feeling that I had when I first came home from my mission was evident with me as I was planning on going to this College Fair on base, and ended up sleeping right through it.  (Sigh)  Maby I will get in to College at the same time that my girls will

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Can't sleep

Im here in bed wide awake at 2133 (930 PM) and i go to work at 2345 (you figure it out). Im tired and well fed with my homemade BBQ wings, but yet the sandman has not yet arrived. I got up a few minuites ago to walk around and i beheld a wonderful sight. My baby girls, all curled up with their blankies and bears, were fast asleep. There are no better things in this world.
I am awed at the maricle of life and the beautiful start we all have as innocent, helpless children. I always joke with my wife about who their real father is, but seriously i cannot fathon that a person such as myself can produce such beautiful baby girls.
I love comics, but my father is my real hero. He raised me, and has so much love for me and my family, and always does his best to take care of us. Now its my turn and i feel very unworthy to hold that honerable title of Daddy
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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Military Rules for Non-Military Personel

I decided to go easy for todays blog while I eat some German Pancakes for breakfast.  I found this on the internet while doing some research on some family stuff and just found it hilarious.  I'd give credit to whoever wrote this first, but I could not find it.  Hope you enjoy it

Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel
We know that the current state of affairs in our great Nation have many civilians up in arms politically and rightfully concerned about our troops. For those of you who can't join the military at this time, you can still lend a hand here at home. The following are a few of the areas where your assistance would be appreciated:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking, (or wearing a hat), during the playing of the National Anthem – - – kick their arse.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest – - – kick their arse.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every day. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their arse.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your arse kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an arse-kicking, (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military,' inform them of their mistake – - – and kick their arse.
(7) Next time Old Glory, (the US flag, for those lacking the knowledge), prances by during a parade, get on your feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe arse-kicking.
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran (although I delve into it quite often myself). We are ALL Americans, (well, hopefully most), and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief, (C in C). The President, (for those who didn't know), is our C in C regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking the same stupid questions repeatedly, you should get your arse kicked.
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me, so stop saying it. If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick YOUR arse!!!
(10) Bin Laden, al Qaeda and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying, 'Let's go kill those Commies'. And stop asking returning soldiers where HE is !!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me – - – if you see anyone calling those psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their arse.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your arse kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its arse kicked.



Ooh Rah!
Sterling Blakely
Mormon Marine of Steel

Monday, October 4, 2010

Diaper weekend

Anyone with babies or who has had babies will tell you that the biggest things you will go through are formula and diapers.  Through the California and Utah WIC (Womens Infants and Children)  we are able to get free formula for the twins, but we still have to take care of the diapers.  These two babies eat like their daddy!  This leads to lots of diaper changes!  Usually we can get the best prices and amounts at Costco, which is nice because I can also go and get a hotdog at their food court or some other great bulk deals as well while I am there.  I often picture us in the future of having multiple multiples and having to have a forklift load a whole pallet of diapers into the back of our minivan. 

Well this weekend was the Miramar Air Show at my base.  Our babies sometimes are very sensitive to noise when they are sleeping, and we decided to go and have some fun off base so that the babies don't go crazy hearing the jets fly over and all of the loud noise.  This plan did not work  so well when my friend Bonus (more about him in later blogs) decided to come with us as he needed some stuff.  Bonus is not able to be quiet at all.  His "whisper" is louder than most Auctioneer's call.  He frequents our house in the same manor as Kramer on the classic Seinfeld TV show.  Usually when he comes by, one of the babies will look at him and start crying.  He will then bend down, and stare at the kid and tell my baby "Oh, come on, you're ok!"  The baby will immeadieatly stop, stare at the audacity of this man to tell her what to do, and then play with her toys calmly. 

We bought the case of diapers and as we got to the car I realized that I still had the stroller in the trunk, which takes up just about the entire trunk.  Bonus had went crazy since he had never been to a Costco and bought a ton of books and snacks.  The diapers were wrapped up in 3 "bricks" so I tore the box apart and and was able to put them down in the trunk brick by brick.  The Bricks are now set in stratigic places throught the house so as to best get them in the stinky time of need.

My mother  used cloth diapers on my siblings and I.  Before we had the twins, we attended a huge Utah baby show (These are almost as big as the bridal shows in Utah, which in comparison, are as big as a gun show in Texas).  I watched a demonstration on new modern cloth diapers as Brooke went through thousands of baby bows.  I was intrigued by all of the neat designs for them, but when we finally got to the point of how to clean them, I was imeadieatly turned away from it.  Bad enought when I have to wipe them down, but with these, you have to hand scrub them clean.  I don't want to get much into potty talk, but I don't like poo and have to get rid of it.  I love my baby girls dearly, but I will not scrub the poo out of their pink flowery diapers.  I will gladly buy as many bricks of diapers as possible to take care of them, recognizing fully of the imprent on garbage and the realization that there is probabyl a skyscraper built our of all the diapers from my house.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Blogging with Babys

I am taking a moment away from reading my comics to watch my babies and update the blog.  Sorry it has been a while since i have written, but I have still been keeping the goal of once a week.  Here comes Anna!  Say Hi Anna!
<Daddy, I want some chocolate milk!!!>

Must resist must resist.....YouTube to the rescue!
The other day I was on YouTube looking up a tv show preview for the show No Ordinary Family. Its running on ABC and is about a family that is given super powers.  Kinda like an ABC version of the show Heroes.  A lot like it!  Unfortounately, it also comes on at the same time as NCIS, so we will have to either record it or watch it online.
While I was watching this, I also stumbled upon this other show which is comming on NBC sometime in the future.  I cannot find an exact date or time, but I do know that it is going to be showing 2011 accoding to their website.Its called THE CAPE!  Go figure, me liking as show about a superhero.  I can't wait to watch this and I highly reccomend all of you thousands of peopole that are in the fan club reading this blog.  Watch the preview for it on YouTube and also on NBC.com

Oh, here comes Abby, lets see what she thinks we should blog about
<Daddy, I want Chocolate milk too>

Abby, not you too!   Tough to resist......must use powers.
Speaking of powers, Smallville is currently into its last season.  We are anxiously awaiting to watch it!  While we haven't seen all of the episodes, we have very much enjoyed the show and plan on buying the entire season on DVD when it gets released.  I am still hoping that they will find a way to put Bruce Wayne/Batman into the series.  They have put half the other characters of the Justice League in there.  Why not put the other half of the World's Finest Team?  Today I just found out the awsome news about Teri Hatcher playing Lois Lane's mother in this final season!  I have always enjoyed it when they have used former "Superman" actors and actresses in newer forms of the show.  Smallville has been no stranger from former stars to the show, even having Christopher Reeve in the show before he passed away.  I really can't wait to see this !

<DADDY!!!   We want our bottles now!!!>
Unable........ to........ resist!   Must........ get....... babies........ chocolate ...milk
"DADDY!  What are you putting in their bottles?"  

<Slap him on the back of the head mommy!  He tried to give us chocolate milk!>
"Crazy Daddy!  No giving babies chocolate milk!  They are too little!"
"Oww, yes dear..."

<DADDY!!!! We've got something for you>
WOAH!!!  Looks like i'm going to need some superpowers of my own to tackle these diapers!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mid Crew

As I may have mentioned before, I am in the United States Marines, Working as a supply clerk in the Aviation supply warehouses. I am stationed here in Miramar MCAS, in beautiful, sunny San Diego. Its a pretty good job and can be very fun if you make it that way. Lately i have been put on the Mid Crew Shift, which goes from Midnight to 7am. I enjoyed the switch from day crew to mid, especially since I now have more time in the day to spend with my baby girls. Brooke is also happy with that too, as they can be quite the handful for her. We are also able to go places during the day that we would have only been able to go on the weekends before, like SeaWorld, Disneyland, various San Diego Museums, the beach, etc. But, like all great things, it has its ups and downs to it.

Socially, all of my friends here on base are either Deployed or on the Day shift, making me have to wait until 4 or 5 if i want to do anything with any of them. We usually compensate that with having lots of get togathers at my house and lots of game day parties to have people come by the house and watch our large glowing rectangle. (see last weeks post, "glowing rectangles" Sunday at Shakey's we call it.

Sleep wise, its a totally different story. Ideally, I've been planning on going to bed around 8pm, waking up at 11:30, going to work, getting home around 8ish, doing some workout and PT, and then going to sleep for a few hours and then spending the day with the baby girls. For the most part, its been working, except for days ending in 'Y'. Sundays and Mondays, NFL season has started and my friend Bonus, is almost always over. Thsi usually won't get me to bed till 9 or 10 somedays. Tuesdays, NCIS is on. Along with it being one of my favorite shows, my children are ADDICTED to it. My Daughter is named Abbigale, after the show's bubbly gothic Forensic specialist, and she loves to see her on tv. Anna, seems to have a crush on one of the big characters on the show, but it seems to change every time. These girls WILL NOT SLEEP, until they see their favorite character Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the head investigator played by Mark Harmon. This character is also famous for slapping people in the back of the head, a motion that my wife is now frequently doing as well! Wednesday and Thurseday there isn't much to stop me so far from going to sleep at my usual time, except for the 3 Redbox movie machines we have on base and the base movie theatre, conviently located 3 blocks from our house. Friday and Saturday nights I try to sleep in, but I usually can't sleep in past 7:30. Those days, I am awoken by the sound of my kids talking to each other and plotting the next mind control scheme of their daddy. Saturdays, I usually head down to the kitchen and make pancakes for Brooke and TRY to bring her breakfast for her in bed, but the babies always foil my plan and get mommy to bring them downstairs to watch cartoons. Sundays, we have church from 1-4, which is especially nice to give us enought time to get the babies ready for church.

Its pretty quiet during my shift, especially since there is only me in the warehouse, and one guy on the other end of the warehouse. Our lights are activated by motion sensers , so I have often thought about getting a remote control car and driving it around to turn on all the lights to psych out the other guy or whoever is there for weekend watch. I usually have a couple orders an hour, or have plenty of gear to stock, so I do usually keep myself busy during the shift. Plus there is lots of things there for me to use to excersize, so I can keep my really really good lookingness.

Not sure yet how long I will be on this shift, but I plan on enjoying all the extra time that I have with my baby girls while I still can. At least until I can invent some baby food that will make them stay cute and little forever


Monday, September 6, 2010

Glowing Rectangles

I love reading The Onion.  Fake news, made incredibly funny.  Recently I saw a headline from them that said : Millions of people waste their time staring at glowing rectangles.  This, is not fake, but is very very true!  People are attracted to glowing rectangles.  Men especially!  Think about it.  Laptops, TVs, Las Vegas billboards, and now new smartphones.  Men are attracted to them like a fly to a bug zapper.  I was walking in the Exchange (base department store) and I passed by the Electronics department, where Avatar was playing on the wall of plasma TVs.  Men were starting and grunting to each other about it as if they were time traveling caveman.  I started to walk towards my fellow neanderthals, but I was soon rendered helpless by the mind control powers of the babies.  "You want to get us some Twinkies, Daddy", they commanded to my mind.  I was rendered helpless and my body proceeded to fill the shopping cart with the boxes of those delicious golden cakes.  This was soon followed by a slap to my head from my wife.

Before we moved out to San Diego, my wife and I upgraded our phones to us both getting Droids.  I love this!  My old phone would drive me crazy, send texts out before I was finished with it, and power off at random times.  This is a fantastic upgrade.  not only do i use it to text, call and check email, but I have the games, apps,etc,etc, etc.  It is my electronic brain.  That being said, if I loose it or break it, i am screwed!  The girls see this as a threat to their mind control powers on me and frequently attempt to take it and drool all over it.  Beautiful little glowing rectangle

A few weeks ago, we bought a new glowing rectangle.  We bought a 54 inch TV from an ad on Craig's List and it has been working wonderfully.  My wife bombarded me with questions of how would the babies like it, would we have room for it, etc, etc.  These were all forgotten the moment she watched Sleeping Beauty on the big box.  My friends here on base have expressed their excitement about it, saying that it will be Sunday at Shakey's for the football games, NCIS, etc.  Much food and excitement has come with this glowing rectangle.

I'm not sure how bad glowing rectangles is with women.  The TV glowing rectangle is on most of the time without my wife's attention, mainly for background noise while she plays with her little phone glowing rectangle and her laptop glowing rectangle.  Her laptop is a small blue netbook which is covered with Twilight stickers and is currently having some problems due to the twins having a battle with it and their super spitty powers. My twins have not had too much trouble with my laptop, especially since the only time they are ever near it, is when they are asleep.  Like now.  Right now I am typing this with Anna asleep on my chest.  Its the best thing in the world, and her snoring is very very cute.  Perhaps i will record this and play this forever on a glowing rectangle to embarrass her at some point in her future

Thursday, August 26, 2010

FEED ME DADDY!!!!

My wife (She who MUST be obeyed!), is a big fan of Star Wars, and I think our Twin Baby girls, Princess Drool and Abby-Normal, have been following her.  This may be due to their early corruption in the woomb of Brooke playing all 6 Star Wars movies for them to hear.  These kids have unnatural powers and are in my opinion baby JEDI!  They are mainly effective on me, not so much on their mother, and also their Uncle Ian, Uncle Harold and their Grandpas.  They look at me an render me paralized as well as a loss of all control of movement.  They hack into my head and put crazy ideas into my head to get me in trouble.  Two weeks ago, we had been looking at going to Disneyland in a few months and looking at what to do there.  They both stared at me and put the thought into my head that they needed to go NOW and they needed to go on the Indiana Jones ride!  I was not in control of my own words and actions when my wife says I argued with her unceasingly about their right to go on the rides in the happiest place on Earth as if I were the late Johnny Cockran!
Don't get me wrong, I have a good working brian on my head, its just being controlled by two little ones! Take food for example, for this is the other big clash my wife has with me.  She seems to think that I have no idea what babies eat and don't eat.  I know very well not to give them a steak. However, if that steak were to be processed into mush, then it could be fed to them without the requirement of teeth. Growing up, my mother had a baby food masher that she used to feed us fresh fruits and vegtables to us before we got teeth. Apparently this doesn't work with everything, according to my wife
This afternoon, I was enjoying some chips and guacamolie and I had the strangest notion to feed my little girl some.  These girls work in very curious ways.  They persuade me to feed  them things and make it seem like its a reasonable thing for them to eat.   Guacamolie is in a easy form that doesn't need teeth like applesauce and pudding, two other things that they have tried to get me to feed them.  To a guy, this would seem almost a reasonable thing and would not take much persuation from them.  I then try to give them some, being in full control by them, and then get caught by my wife right before they are feed it!  My wife then slaps the back of my head, as she learned from Gibbs off NCIS. 
The girls are especially bad as the day goes on.  They try their hardest with me when it comes to ice cream.  They have so much brain waves going to my head, its possibly going to turn me
into a vegtable someday!  I know they shouldn't have ice cream and I put up as much resistance as possible, but the two forces are so much in oppositon that i temporary loose all my movement abilities and ice cream ends up all over my wife's face.  She is not amused ,especially since i was eating chocolate cookies and cream and it got chocolate all over her white pj's
Just nowAnna tried to get into my mind. My wife stepped out of the room and Anna started fussing while she was playing on the floor.  I picked her up and made a silly face to make her smile. She turned her head to look at me and telepathically said to me, "You know daddy, some chocolate frosting would help mefeel better!"  I resisted as much as i could as she controlled my hand to grab the chocolate frosting on the couch that my wife had been dipping pretzles in.  I took control and started to take the frosting to the kitchen when my wife came back into the room and saw me with the frosting in one hand and the baby in the other.  Anna then when into my wife's head, and told her that I was plannning on feeding her the entire jar of frosting.  Here it comes, untill next time, lets see if I wrap tin foil on my head to resist the babies.
  (SLAP!)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Finally the life and times of Me begin!

Hi everyone!  I'm Sterling, the Marine of Steel!  And now I am finally establishing my blog!  I won't bore you to death with my entire life story, or history of my family, or detailed list of all of my head injuries as a youth.  Those you can find in the complete history of Blakely volumes XX-XXVII.  It sufficeth me to say that growing up I always had a crazy life and things to joke and laugh about.  This gained worldwide popularity in the Massive letters that I would send home to my family as I was serving a Mormon Mission in Washington, DC.  It was my intention to keep the humor, commentary and quick whit going on arriving home, but i was thrown with such big excueses such as jobs, marrage, pregnancy (boy did i get huge!)  boot camp, and little twin girls!  Things have somewhat settled down so now the rants and raves are rolling again. 

                 It is my goal to write this 2-3 times a week, which should leave me enought time to spend time with the girls, eat my body weight in peanut butter,gulp down a Dr.Pepper, and do the awsome Marine job that I do.  Forget about sleep for me.  Sleep is not needed.  Marines don't sleep, they just wait.  My wife has not stated how she would like to be mentioned in this, and she will formally be know for the time being as She Who Must Be Obeyed.  My twins, Abbigaile and Annaliese will also be mentioned by the nicknames that I have given them of Abby-Normal and Princess Drool!  Pictures will be posted as soon as I can reach a good contract with the Paparatzie.
                 I do not fully allign myself Republican or Democrat, as I see many good things in them.  However my full allegience is to food and the eating of it, a cause that I have established and have triumphed with these many years.  I do not mean to offend , but entertain and enlighten.  Some posts may be more spiritually filling, others more laughter will overwhelme you.  Feel free to e-mail me with your thoughts, comments, donations, ideas and Dr.Pepper recipies.  If i mention things to confuse you, try looking in past blogs for references or just email me, especially now as I have no other previous posts yet.  Althought I do make this look easy, its pretty hard to be this good looking and this cool. 

I attribute this blog to all of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles who have taught me the redneck ways of life, the power and pride of politics, the art and wonder of Comic Books, and to always follow my dreams and to be true to my name and be "Sterling" in all that I do.  I especially thank my Uncle Harold for never giving up on me and always supporting me in everything.  Special thanks also to my best friend Ian, my partner in laughs and capers.  My wife and kids are a big inspiration for this and I want them to know I love them very much.
OOH RAH!