Thursday, October 7, 2010

Military Rules for Non-Military Personel

I decided to go easy for todays blog while I eat some German Pancakes for breakfast.  I found this on the internet while doing some research on some family stuff and just found it hilarious.  I'd give credit to whoever wrote this first, but I could not find it.  Hope you enjoy it

Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel
We know that the current state of affairs in our great Nation have many civilians up in arms politically and rightfully concerned about our troops. For those of you who can't join the military at this time, you can still lend a hand here at home. The following are a few of the areas where your assistance would be appreciated:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking, (or wearing a hat), during the playing of the National Anthem – - – kick their arse.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest – - – kick their arse.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every day. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their arse.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your arse kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an arse-kicking, (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military,' inform them of their mistake – - – and kick their arse.
(7) Next time Old Glory, (the US flag, for those lacking the knowledge), prances by during a parade, get on your feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe arse-kicking.
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran (although I delve into it quite often myself). We are ALL Americans, (well, hopefully most), and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief, (C in C). The President, (for those who didn't know), is our C in C regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking the same stupid questions repeatedly, you should get your arse kicked.
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me, so stop saying it. If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick YOUR arse!!!
(10) Bin Laden, al Qaeda and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying, 'Let's go kill those Commies'. And stop asking returning soldiers where HE is !!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me – - – if you see anyone calling those psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their arse.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your arse kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its arse kicked.



Ooh Rah!
Sterling Blakely
Mormon Marine of Steel

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