FEED ME DADDY!!!!

My wife (She who MUST be obeyed!), is a big fan of Star Wars, and I think our Twin Baby girls, Princess Drool and Abby-Normal, have been following her.  This may be due to their early corruption in the woomb of Brooke playing all 6 Star Wars movies for them to hear.  These kids have unnatural powers and are in my opinion baby JEDI!  They are mainly effective on me, not so much on their mother, and also their Uncle Ian, Uncle Harold and their Grandpas.  They look at me an render me paralized as well as a loss of all control of movement.  They hack into my head and put crazy ideas into my head to get me in trouble.  Two weeks ago, we had been looking at going to Disneyland in a few months and looking at what to do there.  They both stared at me and put the thought into my head that they needed to go NOW and they needed to go on the Indiana Jones ride!  I was not in control of my own words and actions when my wife says I argued with her unceasingly about their right to go on the rides in the happiest place on Earth as if I were the late Johnny Cockran!
Don't get me wrong, I have a good working brian on my head, its just being controlled by two little ones! Take food for example, for this is the other big clash my wife has with me.  She seems to think that I have no idea what babies eat and don't eat.  I know very well not to give them a steak. However, if that steak were to be processed into mush, then it could be fed to them without the requirement of teeth. Growing up, my mother had a baby food masher that she used to feed us fresh fruits and vegtables to us before we got teeth. Apparently this doesn't work with everything, according to my wife
This afternoon, I was enjoying some chips and guacamolie and I had the strangest notion to feed my little girl some.  These girls work in very curious ways.  They persuade me to feed  them things and make it seem like its a reasonable thing for them to eat.   Guacamolie is in a easy form that doesn't need teeth like applesauce and pudding, two other things that they have tried to get me to feed them.  To a guy, this would seem almost a reasonable thing and would not take much persuation from them.  I then try to give them some, being in full control by them, and then get caught by my wife right before they are feed it!  My wife then slaps the back of my head, as she learned from Gibbs off NCIS. 
The girls are especially bad as the day goes on.  They try their hardest with me when it comes to ice cream.  They have so much brain waves going to my head, its possibly going to turn me
into a vegtable someday!  I know they shouldn't have ice cream and I put up as much resistance as possible, but the two forces are so much in oppositon that i temporary loose all my movement abilities and ice cream ends up all over my wife's face.  She is not amused ,especially since i was eating chocolate cookies and cream and it got chocolate all over her white pj's
Just nowAnna tried to get into my mind. My wife stepped out of the room and Anna started fussing while she was playing on the floor.  I picked her up and made a silly face to make her smile. She turned her head to look at me and telepathically said to me, "You know daddy, some chocolate frosting would help mefeel better!"  I resisted as much as i could as she controlled my hand to grab the chocolate frosting on the couch that my wife had been dipping pretzles in.  I took control and started to take the frosting to the kitchen when my wife came back into the room and saw me with the frosting in one hand and the baby in the other.  Anna then when into my wife's head, and told her that I was plannning on feeding her the entire jar of frosting.  Here it comes, untill next time, lets see if I wrap tin foil on my head to resist the babies.
  (SLAP!)

Finally the life and times of Me begin!

Hi everyone!  I'm Sterling, the Marine of Steel!  And now I am finally establishing my blog!  I won't bore you to death with my entire life story, or history of my family, or detailed list of all of my head injuries as a youth.  Those you can find in the complete history of Blakely volumes XX-XXVII.  It sufficeth me to say that growing up I always had a crazy life and things to joke and laugh about.  This gained worldwide popularity in the Massive letters that I would send home to my family as I was serving a Mormon Mission in Washington, DC.  It was my intention to keep the humor, commentary and quick whit going on arriving home, but i was thrown with such big excueses such as jobs, marrage, pregnancy (boy did i get huge!)  boot camp, and little twin girls!  Things have somewhat settled down so now the rants and raves are rolling again. 

                 It is my goal to write this 2-3 times a week, which should leave me enought time to spend time with the girls, eat my body weight in peanut butter,gulp down a Dr.Pepper, and do the awsome Marine job that I do.  Forget about sleep for me.  Sleep is not needed.  Marines don't sleep, they just wait.  My wife has not stated how she would like to be mentioned in this, and she will formally be know for the time being as She Who Must Be Obeyed.  My twins, Abbigaile and Annaliese will also be mentioned by the nicknames that I have given them of Abby-Normal and Princess Drool!  Pictures will be posted as soon as I can reach a good contract with the Paparatzie.
                 I do not fully allign myself Republican or Democrat, as I see many good things in them.  However my full allegience is to food and the eating of it, a cause that I have established and have triumphed with these many years.  I do not mean to offend , but entertain and enlighten.  Some posts may be more spiritually filling, others more laughter will overwhelme you.  Feel free to e-mail me with your thoughts, comments, donations, ideas and Dr.Pepper recipies.  If i mention things to confuse you, try looking in past blogs for references or just email me, especially now as I have no other previous posts yet.  Althought I do make this look easy, its pretty hard to be this good looking and this cool. 

I attribute this blog to all of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles who have taught me the redneck ways of life, the power and pride of politics, the art and wonder of Comic Books, and to always follow my dreams and to be true to my name and be "Sterling" in all that I do.  I especially thank my Uncle Harold for never giving up on me and always supporting me in everything.  Special thanks also to my best friend Ian, my partner in laughs and capers.  My wife and kids are a big inspiration for this and I want them to know I love them very much.
OOH RAH!